


Grow

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Series: Bloom [2]
Category: Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Established Relationship, Growth, Hanahaki Disease, JayDick-Flashfic, Light Angst, M/M, Reminiscing, jaydick-flashfic:growth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 20:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19216873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: Jason's reminisces the past, remembering who he used to be and who he has become.(A short story set after the events of Bloom. You don't need to read the first part to read this.)





	Grow

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Are you sure? by Loote

_“I have this nightmare,  
 You woke up one morning and changed your mind.”_

  
  
There was a time when Jason was sure that he was better off without a soulmate.

Human beings were created in such a strange way, needing nothing but themselves to grow, to make mistakes and cry, falling down over and over until the scars from every struggle was imprinted onto their skins forever and after pushing through everything life had thrown at them, in the end, it was love that would be their downfall. Without the touch of a soulmate, people were forced to live with a hollowness in their hearts, a piece of their soul lost somewhere in the world, complete only when they found the one they were meant to be with. But being whole wasn’t the happily ever after everyone was looking for.

If some soulmates were forever, others walked away without a second glance, needing something more than what they were given, sentencing those left behind to death. Hanahaki was merciless, preying on those who had already been hurt, giving them no choice but to tear out their own hearts to survive. Either you were fulfilled or you lived without ever having the chance to love another again, carrying the scars of flowers that once bloomed inside your chest, a reminder of what you had and what you could never get back.

Growing up in Crime Alley, Jason had rarely seen a marriage that wasn’t plagued by the curse of Hanahaki, empty houses hiding those left behind, the flowers nourished by their blood becoming their grave to sleep in eternally. Painted in every color imaginable, the blooming flowers could take one’s breath away and Jason always wondered how something so beautiful could be born from so much pain.

His mother was never a victim of Hanahaki but she had been imprisoned by love, eaten alive because of her devotion to a man that could never care for anyone but himself. Seeing his parents together and apart, seeing the cruelty that dwelled in the gray alleys of Crime Alley, Jason swore to himself that he would never need a soulmate. He would never give anyone so much power over himself.

  
_“I have irrational fears we’ve talked over a hundred times,_   
_I love you carefully,_   
_Cautious of how deeply I dive.”_

  
  
It was funny how Jason was sure he would never need love and in the end, it was love that set him free.

Resurrection was a bitch and when Jason was forced back into the world of the living, he didn’t come back right. After being on the receiving end of a crowbar multiple times, the injuries to his brain were too much for him to recover completely, breathing and existing, he was turned into a shell without a soul, barely remembering who he was or where he came from. But even when he didn’t know himself, in the few memories he did have, he would always see baby blue eyes staring into his, filling him with a feeling that he could never explain.

When people looked at Dick Grayson they saw a good son, a loving brother and a caring friend. When Jason looked at Dick, he saw freedom. It was in the way the older man smiled, in the way stood up for what he believed in, in the way he flew across the dark skies of Gotham City, a bird free from the chains that held everyone down and Jason had loved him since the first time he saw him at Haly’s Circus.

But after Talia had dunked him into the green waters of the Lazarus Pit to heal him his injuries, his cruel awakening had left Jason full of anger and a strong need for vengeance. He had died and his mentor, the man he trusted with his life had never taken revenge. He had died and instead of mourning, Bruce had replaced him with another. Consumed with rage, Jason had forgotten what it meant to love.

Making vengeance his purpose for living, he didn’t hesitate to hurt anyone who stepped in his way, spilling blood if need be, never realizing that his hands had brushed across his soulmate’s until it was too late.

Jason knew that he didn’t deserve someone like Dick Grayson. But the threads of fate had intertwined their souls together and the older had accepted his destiny without a single complaint. Maybe in a world where soulmates didn’t exist, Dick could finally be free to love someone better but in this life, after everything he had done, the least Jason could do was make the older happy.

  
_“Though I know you meant it,_  
 _It’s hard to believe you’re on my side.”_

  
  
It had been three years since Jason almost lost Dick.

Since that terrible time, they had come a long way, taking one step at a time, stumbling but never giving up on each other. There were mornings when Jason would lay awake, staring at his soulmate’s sleeping face, chest rising and falling with each breath. There were evenings when they would curl up on the couch, gentle fingers stroking through Jason’s hair, an old Disney movie playing as Dick sang along to every single song, blue eyes staring at the younger. There were nights when nightmares would haunt Jason’s dreams, making him writhe and cry until Dick held him close, his voice bringing him back to reality. There were days when all they did was fight – _I’m not made of glass – I know you’re not – Do you? – Dick, you almost died because of me – But I didn’t. I’m still here – Yeah, you are but for how long? – What? – How long before you get tired of me?_

Despite the countless days Jason had spent wrapped up in Dick’s warmth, he still couldn’t believe that this life was his. Even now, in the back of his head, he wondered when he would finally wake up from this dream to find himself back in a safe house, lying in a cold bed all alone. Dick would be out of his reach while Jason would get exactly what he deserved.

And even though Jason had such a hard time believing that he deserved to be happy, Dick was always patient. He did his best to remind his soulmate that he was loved with soft kisses and words that Jason could barely say. On their days off, they would visit Ivy and Harley, finding comfort with two people they fought once in the past. But the two women had lived their pain, almost losing one another because of their insecurities. Now together, after leaving their villainous occupations, they worked to help those touched by Hanahaki.

Jason wanted to be better and even though his journey to let go of his demons would be a long one, in the end, it would be worth it. He wanted to believe that there would come a day when he could accept Dick’s love without doubting him.

  
  
_“I get so caught in the moment,_  
 _And I jump ahead of myself,_  
 _When you say you can’t see yourself with anyone else?”_  


  
  
Stepping out of his uniform and safely putting away his weapons in the spare room, Jason rolled his eyes as he found Dick’s clothes strewn across the floor, leading straight to the bedroom. Ever since he moved in with his soulmate, he realized he would have to get used to how messy the older could get. It wasn’t that Dick was lazy, it was just that he was so used to everything in life being in control that he needed a little bit of chaos in his personal space. Sometimes, that little chaos annoyed Jason but what relationship was without compromise?

After throwing the discarded uniform into the spare room, Jason fell into bed, hard enough to make the whole thing move, Dick jolting awake. Bleary eyed he looked around the room, hand twitching towards the escrima sticks hidden under the bed when his eyes landed on Jason who was smiling mischievously.

“You’re an ass,” Dick mumbled as he tucked his pillow back under his head.

“But you love me.” Jason grinned, pulling his soulmate close until their bodies were flushed together.

Tilting his head back, Dick softly kissed the younger. “I really do,” he whispered and Jason’s heart skipped a beat. “How was patrol?”

“Boring. I barely got to kick anyone’s ass.”

“That’s a good thing, Jay.”

“Meh.”

“Are you okay?” Dick suddenly asked, worry filling his eyes and Jason couldn’t help but smile.

Lifting Dick’s hand, gently kissing the diamond ring placed on his fiancé’s finger, he nodded.

“As long as you’re here, I’ll be fine.”

  
_“There’s pain that I’ve learned a lot from,_  
 _I’ll help you if you’ll help me.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't think I would be writing such a fic for Bloom but the flashfic prompt was really tempting so here we are. I thought it'd be nice to have something purely from Jason's POV.


End file.
